Life Lessons

Here’s what I learned this week….

1. People were very supportive about my new pathetic beginners knitting skills.

2. But, since I posted that I m trying to learn to knit, there is pressure to stick with this and actually learn how.

3. Never assume that Springform pans are airtight.

4. My pumpkin cheesecake is all kinds of problematic due to this assumption.

5. I think it has to be re- made, which is the first time in years I’ve messed up a dessert.

6. My alone time limit is three days. After that, I start to feel crazy.

7.I’ve been praying for a new car so I can actually leave my house and be not crazy social.

8. I’ve been praying for that A LOT. Very a La persistent Widow.

9. It feels kind of materialistic to pray for a car, so I’m praying about that too.

10. Oprah’s cancelling her show. I think I’m among the minority excited about this.

11. Somehow I have to get my small dog to not stand under the big dog while he’s urinating.

12. We’ve had three doggy baths already this week.

13. I do not want to think about the possibility that he might be enjoying his golden shower.

14.On that note, have a great weekend!!!

 

 

Not so crafty

I’m not a crafty person. I don’t have great hand- eye coordination, and I have even less patience. I have many a slightly- started project laying around the house, waiting for a bug to find it. I want to be crafty, but my skills are pretty much limited to providing snacks for the people who can actually figure out how to make a scrapbook look cute, instead of a big glue-y mess, or sew something without running their finger under the needle…..

That having been said….. check out how I spent my Monday…..

Yes, friends, that is the scarf I am KNITTING…… Here’s another look …..

 

See my giant needles? It’s like Knitting for Dummies or something. But isn’t it pretty? Yay me!!!

Just in case you thought it was too good to be true…. here’s a close up

Please don’t judge the messiness or many, many mistakes I have made. Because y’all, knitting is hard. And I was busy yelling at Oprah while I was working on it, which was very distracting.

Now, I understand, knitting a foot long scarf doesn’t exactly make me crafty, but I woke up today craftier than I woke up yesterday, so it’s a start!!!

To have and to hold…..

My husband and I eloped. We weren’t planning to, and didn’t have a fun, dramatic reason why, we just did. I wasn’t pregnant, neither of us were at risk for deportation, we simply just didn’t want our wedding. We had been planning it for almost six months. It was annoying. We were both working crazy hours, we were getting married 8 hours away, wedding party members were asked to step down, then others quit on their own, the church double booked, and it was spiraling out of control financially. It had become more about the party than the commitment…..

So we quit our wedding. We called/ emailed/ sent letters to friends and family telling them to please ignore the save-the-dates, that we were postponing it indefinitely. We fielded phone calls (NO, we’re NOT breaking up, YES, we’re FINE, NO we do NOT know when it is rescheduled for….).

Three weeks later we both had a long weekend off for his birthday. We had already made plans (weeks before we called the wedding off) to go to the mountains. We woke up the day before we were leaving and decided to get married while we were there. We got a marriage license, called some friends to meet us there to be our witnesses, found a preacher from the internet and got married.

This is what I remember from our day….

I wore the dress I was supposed to wear to my shower. It is blue- green silk and beautiful. I got it on clearance for $18.99. I had it on for 2 hours, and it’s been in plastic ever since. Someday, I WILL show it to my daughter, because it’s part of our history. The “preacher” was a woman, she was 20 minutes late, and had marinated herself in Estee Lauder’s Youth Dew. She had us pick out and customize wedding vows the day before via email. She did not come close to using the ones we picked. She gave us a card and told us if we every needed help “re-fueling the fire sexually” she could counsel us on that (Y’all, I am NOT making this up). We were married at the Grove Park Inn in Asheville. It is beautiful; we found a little koi pond with a waterfall to stand in front of. It may not have been a church, but God was still there. A random hotel guest walked through mid- ceremony, which made me laugh so hard. My friend Amanda took about a million pictures. I remember being annoyed about the color pantyhose I was wearing. My legs were the color of an Ace bandage. Steve’s shoes were scuffed and he was wearing a tie we had bought the night before. Afterwards, the preacher and her perfume cloud left, and we changed into jeans and went for hamburgers and ice cream with Amanda and Brandon. They went home, and we made good use of the Do Not Disturb sign. It was the best weekend ever.

People ask me if I regret it. Not so much. Sometimes I wish I could have worn my big puffy fancy wedding dress, but the only thing I would change is that maybe we should have had our parents there. It’s probably the most selfish thing I have done, but it was an amazing day. And that’s the story of my wedding……

P.S. My husband still owes me a honeymoon….

Life Lessons

1. I am more self sufficient than I may have originally thought.

2. This week I learned how to use the Xbox.

3. As a DVD player. My friends at Netflix sent me Season 1 and 2 of The Office.

4. How have I missed out on the genius of that show all this time?

5. Anyway, I’m making up for lost time now.

6. My dogs ran away for 3 hours the other day.

7. Then they came home.

8. I kind of didn’t miss them. Which probably makes me an awful dog- mom.

9. Sometimes I wish they were cats.

10. I have little patience for giving out repeat advice to the same people, over and over and over again.

11. My friends might feel the same way about me. I’m going to work on being more aware of that.

12. I miss Steve. A lot. When we first realized he would have to move to Nashville way before me, I was all like “sweet, my house will be clean”. Now that it’s clean, I rather have the mess and him.

13. That was super cheesy. I am more than a little nauseous.

14. I miss the social interaction of work; not the social interaction of customers, just my associates. But for the first time in years, I do not have to work Black Friday. So it evens out.

15. I’ve had “writers block” all week. This post is pretty much living proof that it hasn’t yet gone away. *sigh*

 

Stuffing Battle 2009

My crazy husband hates stuffing. He’ll eat it if it’s on top of a casserole, but that’s about it. For the last four Thanksgivings, I have tried, with very minimal success, to change his mind. The first Thanksgiving we spent together, I had never actually made it before, so I was winging it. It was just so- so. That was the year I found out he didn’t care for it. At the time, I was way more focused on the fact that he BOILED our turkey. Can I tell you how much flavor turkey cooked in water has?  Let’s try NONE.

The next year, I took over cooking the turkey. It was amazing. Unfortunately, it was also an all- consuming drain on my attention, as I was trying to prove that it was, indeed, possible to cook a moist turkey in the oven. I succeeded admirably. Due to hyper- focusing on the turkey though, it was a Stove- Top year…

Last year, I had the turkey under control, and I was ready, and  feeling confident  in branching out in the dessert category, so I began to look for a great recipe for stuffing. One that could convert him to stuffing- lover. I felt passionately that he just hadn’t ever had the right one, and therefore, didn’t know what he was missing. I myself had previously not cared that much for it, so I could understand. Every year growing up, my grandmother made the stuffing. She used to cook it inside the turkey (which I am vehemently opposed to doing), and then she would scrape it out when the bird was done. The result was kind of slimy and (because she was too heavy- handed with the sage), and green. This was a combination I could not handle. Most of my cousins and I insulted her yearly by choosing to eat Stove – Top instead.

Then I grew up and moved away, and it was then, by eating other peoples non- green, non- slimy stuffing, that I discovered a true love for stuffing. But mine struggles every year. It shouldn’t, as every recipe for it seems fairly basic, but I haven’t been able to create an inspiring version, one that I know will make my husband EAT HIS WORDS.

Since I’m home a lot now, I’ve already spent HOURS looking for a recipe that will make the perfect stuffing. And now, I’m asking for recommendations. So if you’re reading this, and you have a stuffing recipe that is TO DIE FOR, please, please, PLEASE let me know what it is, or where I can find it.

Because this year, I WILL be triumphant…..

Life Lessons

1. Apparently I can cry on demand. My contractor wasn’t fixing the heat, and then I cried and now someone will be here Monday. I was totally faking it.

2. Fake tears are pretty much as effective as real ones.

3.Tyler Florence is HOT. He can cook a chicken in my kitchen. Anytime.

4. Spiders must hibernate.

5. Maybe they are still grieving the losses of their children.

6. I don’t care which it is, I’m happy I haven’t seen one all week.

7. I detest that new Reebok commercial.

8. I was sick so I watched A LOT of TV this week. I think my brain is rotting.

9. When you are home alone, and your dogs are barking insanely at a window when it’s dark out, it makes you wonder what’s out there.

10. What you learn from watching too much TV…. never actually go outside to see what it is. Assume the dogs are crazy and move on.

11. The Yankees won the World Series!!! Some people owed me an apology. I graciously accepted.

12. Stuff like that makes me miss my family.

13. They understand the unquestioned superior ability of the Yankees.

14. If not, we disown them.

15. My husband was on the fence about them. He got onboard real quick- like. Therefore, he can stay.

 

 

 

For the Love of Heat

People, do you know that I STILL DO NOT HAVE HEAT?!?!

THAYER STONE INC.  SUCKS…. DO NOT HIRE THEM!!!

Can I discuss how crazy this is making me? SO crazy!! And I was already pretty close to the edge. Plus I’m sick, and now it’s probably going to turn into pneumonia and I might die. Maybe, maybe not.

THAYER STONE INC. SUCKS…. DO NOT HIRE THEM!!!

This week alone, I have called our contractor twice a day, and have sent a daily reminder email. He FINALLY managed to work up the nerve to answer his phone today, at which point I squelched my inner desire to curse him out from here until tomorrow. Y’all, that is A LOT of squelching. Instead I calmed myself down and channeled all of the nice- ness I had left in me. Which wasn’t all that much, but I did what I could. And I THOUGHT I made myself clear, but apparently not so much….

THAYER STONE INC. SUCKS…. DO NOT HIRE THEM!!!

Because guess what? Still no heat. So I have a new plan…. tomorrow, I have to go up to Raleigh because I have some appointments. And I feel pretty strongly that in between my appointments, I am going to camp out at his office building. Because he has heat. Plus his office is also his kitchen cabinet and granite showroom, which is open to the PUBLIC (i.e. his potential new clients). I am pretty sure I might not be a welcome presence, but maybe he’ll fix my stupid furnace!!

THAYER STONE INC. SUCKS…. DO NOT HIRE THEM!!!

It might be playing dirty, and it might be a bit over- dramatic, but Y’all, that is how I roll……

Know it… Fight it… End it…

So I’ll need you guys to bear with me on this one…. I’m super sick and I have had to listen to giant construction trucks tear up my front lawn since 7am. Apparently the neighbors sewer pipe burst, but the smell (oh yes, there IS a smell….  and it is NOT GOOD) and the mess get to hang out in my yard. Awesome. So I am not-so-perky right now….

Anyway, there are two things that make me really, really mad, and I am VERY anti both of them… Porn and Pancreatic Cancer. I’m not going to discuss the first, because it is disgusting and my mom reads this (you have to draw the line somewhere). I AM going to write abut the second one though, because November is P.C. Awareness month!!

Pancreatic Cancer has the highest mortality rate of ALL cancer…. usually because it isn’t diagnosed until it’s in its end stages.In fact, 52% of cases aren’t diagnosed until it’s invaded other organs, and it’s usually too late. My Papa lived for only 3 weeks after his diagnosis. Three weeks isn’t enough time for anything…. and we all know that Patrick Swayze recently lost his battle to it. If it can take out Johnny Castle , it can take anyone out.

There is no early detection or screening for Pancreatic Cancer, which accounts for why it isn’t found until it’s too late. Currently, the government contributes for close to 5 billion dollars for cancer research… and only 2% is earmarked for Pancreatic Cancer. Many symptoms of pancreatic cancer are vague and can be attributed to a variety of other conditions. They include pain (usually abdominal or back), weight loss, jaundice, loss of appetite, nausea, and diabetes.The types of cells that make up pancreatic cancer tumors are unique—which contributes to the unfortunate resistance of the tumors to chemotherapies. All of this information can be found at www.knowitfightitendit.org or www.pancan.org. I strongly urge you to visit those sites to learn more about this, and how you can help.

Finally, my mother-in-law has a friend at her school who was recently diagnosed. She is at the Mayo Clinic this week to determine her course of treatment. Her name is Peggy Dill, she has 2 daughters and a son, and they need our prayers. Please lift Peggy and her family up, as they battle this awful, awful disease.

I know this wasn’t light- hearted and funny, and it’s not something people want to think about. It’s important though, and I want people to be aware of the risks and intensity of this horrible cancer….

Super(visor) Uncle Jack

Hey Y’all…. Happy Halloween!!! This isn’t going to be too long, since Steve and I are busy fortifying our house against Halloween in the Ghetto 2009….

But I was hoping that I could ask the people who read this (all 7 of you) to pray for my Aunt Linda and Uncle Jack….

He is the Town Supervisor in the town I am from (Victor NY- outside of Rochester…. It’s near Canada, people…). This coming Tuesday is Election Day for him. He really needs to be re-elected Y’all. He does a great job, and deserves to be re-elected. Apparently Town Supervisor is like the manager of the town or something, I don’t really know. Anyway, he does such a good job, even his opponent kind of wants him to be re-elected.

Him, and my aunt, and their family (and by extension, the rest of our family) have had some bad stuff happen this summer, and they could really use this win. I know that no one that reads this can actually vote for him, but if you would pray for him, it would mean the world to me.

I know some of you are very specific pray-ers, so his name is Jack Marren, and he running for re- election for Victor Town Supervisor,  and he is awesome.

Thanks Everyone!!!! Have a great weekend!!!!!!!!

******* This just in….. HE WON!!!!! Thanks for all your prayers!!!

Life Lessons

What I’ve learned this week……

1. If you drop your laptop and use your foot to break its fall, then the laptop will not break, but your foot will be jacked up.

2. The only parts of painting that are enjoyable, are picking out the colors and seeing the finished result. I abhor everything in between.

3. Who gets to name paint colors? I want that job.

4. I kind of want a Kindle. I think this makes me a super- dork. I do not care.

5. The approaching holidays are way more pleasant to think about when you do not have a retail store to worry about. The Black Friday Cloud has been lifted off Thanksgiving, for me at least

6. I have a mini- crush on David Tutera. I think he is sweet. I am pretty sure I’m not his type.

7. If you are going to blog- stalk people and steal their ideas, be prepared to follow through. It’s harder than it looks.

8. Boys are mean when it comes to sports teams. I am currently not speaking to three of my friends husbands because they have been awful to me about the Yankees making it to the World Series. Jealous much?

9. I am never having a colonoscopy. I do not care how many time Katie Couric has hers live on TV.  I was on the phone when my mom had to drink the stuff for hers. It was horrifying. Hi Mom! Talking about your colonoscopy!

10. Crafty people inspire me. Alas, this doesn’t change my own level of non-craftiness. *sigh* Maybe one day…..